Do you agree that we are all bi-sexual?
No I don’t. However I do agree with the growing volume of research that asserts the majority of human beings are bisexual to some degree; with individuals being purely attracted to the opposite sex or purely to the same sex being the true sexual minorities. And when I refer to the term “bisexuality” I’m defining it as a sexual orientation in which the individual is capable of being romantically and/or sexually attracted to members of both sexes (i.e., male and female). It’s important to understand that one can be bisexual without ever actually having sex, and bisexual individuals who state being equally sexually attracted to members of both sexes is quite rare. Although I’ll go into more depth about sexual orientation in a moment, in general, it is safe to say that if you can sexually fantasize about members of both sexes, and become sexually aroused by those fantasies, then the core of your sexual orientation is likely to be bisexual by nature.
There’s a big difference between our sexual orientation, our sexual behavior and our sexual identity. Some people are gay, lesbian or bisexual throughout their lives, yet never let anyone know due to the various risks involved. They may marry individuals of the opposite sex, have sexual intercourse with those individuals, have children, raise families and never actually engage in sexual intercourse with anyone of the same sex. However, they never lose that core attraction to same-sex individuals, and may frequently drift off into same-sex sexual fantasies. Such individuals, if simply judged by their sexual orientation would be labeled “homosexual” or “bisexual,” however, if judged by their actual sexual behavior would be labeled “heterosexual.”
The same can be said for the man who lives the life of a stereotypical heterosexual male. He may have a man’s job, such as in construction or business management, may be married with children to a stereotypically attractive female, and spend his time with other “manly” men doing things like gambling, hunting, fishing or watching other men fighting in a ring. But that same man may secretly be meeting up with other men to engage in sexual activity. That same man may also identify himself as being “heterosexual,” but engages in sexual activity considered to be “bisexual,” while internally only truly being sexual attracted to other men, therefore “homosexual” by nature. I know it sounds a bit complicated, but it is what it is. Human beings are extremely complicated life forms!
So to directly answer the question posed: No I don’t think everyone is bisexual. I believe that the majority of human beings are capable of being romantically/sexually attracted to both sexes to some degree, but due to the human tendency to force everyone into dichotomous boxes (i.e., male or female, gay or straight, white or black, republican or democrat, pro-life or pro-choice, etc.), there is little tolerance for those who don’t fit such predetermined, and extremely limiting, social categorizations. If societies around the world became more open to the wide range of non-harmful human sexual experiences and expressions our planet has to offer , and didn’t cling dogmatically to the force-fed hegemonic-masculinity based gender dichotomy we are all subjected to, I guarantee we’d see a lot more people willing to admit being bisexual to some degree.
Klein, F., & Reinhardt, R. U. (1993). The bisexual option. United Kingdom: The Hawthorn Press. ISBN: 1560243805.
Laumann, et. Al. (1994). The social organization of sexuality. The University of Chicago Press. ISBN: 022649573.